Celestial Guardians
by anonymous skrub
Summary: Rewrite of Fallen Angels & Celestial Hunters. That one was purely for school. Now unleashing my Swampy imagination. *concentration face* *accidentally poops* Oops. Concentrated too hard. Yes, I just went there. I just shipped Thalia/Zoe. (Zalia? Thoe? Eh? Eh? No? Okay, I'll stop.) Suck it, homophobic losers. *COUGH* American Family Association *COUGH*
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So yeah, here is my rewrite. I'm gonna put in fluffier Pertemis scenes (YES! :D), more Chaos-y stuff, and more Percy. And Thalia. And Artemis. And Phoebe. And Apollo. And Hermes. And Emo Nico. AND MRS. O'LEARY :DDDDDD**

"-A MAG!" "GOTCHA, HERE, CATCH!" "CHANGING!" "THALIA! TAKE LUCY, STEPHANY, SYDNEY, PHOEBE, AND KATHERINE TO THE NORTHWEST PERIMETER! ARTMEIS, YOU AND PERCY GOT SOUTHEAST! THE REST OF YOU, HOLD THE FUCKING LI-!" Eh…. Wait…. YO! Apollo, did I skip too far ahead? Mhm, thought so. Thank you. Anyway, young (or not), innocent (or not) reader (or naw), let me take you back to where this all began…..

***cue smoke, fog, and dramatic light drop***

. . . . . Uploading date . . . . . Date confirmed: 02-17-2013 . . . . Location: Westover Hall area, Maine, USA, Planet Earth . . . . . Tracking…. Found: Hunters Of Artemis… AND… Demigods, Percy Jackson, Nico di Angelo, Bianca di Angelo, Thalia Grace, Annabeth Chase, satyr Grover Underwood…. Enemy presence: Minimal: Manticore, AKA Doctor Thorne; unknown MH-60L circling ravine; possible enemy mortals. Briefing complete, Guardians, you are cleared to engage.

***LINE BREAK***

All was peaceful in the quiet Maine snowy countryside. You couldn't even tell 12 immortal teenagers were there, lying in the snow, under camouflage ghillie suits; not even the prestigious Hunters of Artemis, who walked over their bodies. On a mere hand signal, all of them slowly rose, revealing a mix of white and grey camouflage combat shirts and pants. Black boots donned their feet, and they wore padded gloves. Boonie hats matching their clothes covered their hair and upper head. White face paint was done in a pattern making them seem ghostly. They slowly followed the unsuspecting immortal teenage girls.

The girls stopped, and raised their bows, arrows loaded and bowstrings drawn back, ready to unleash dozens of deadly accurate (and pointy… VERY point) arrows. They saw 4 half-bloods and a satyr, with one held captive, two in fighting stances, a fourth going invisible, and the final one cowering behind the male in a fighting stance. The one held captive escaped the monster's hold as it fell down from exhaustion and multiple wounds.

A Huntress, Zoë Nightshade, stepped forward and began to speak. "Permission to kill mi-" that was as far as she got before the creature lunged at her. It never reached her. One single sharp crack of a rifle, and the monster dissipated into golden dust, going back to Tartarus.

The demigods whirled around, confused as to where the shot came from. The elder Hunters, including and especially Zoë, groaned in annoyance. She whirled towards the forest, and cupped her hands to her mouth, screaming, "JOHNNY! YOU STOLE MY KILL!"

As if on cue, the teenage soldiers stepped out of the trees, led by one with a smoking rifle and cheeky grin. The younger Hunters raised their bows, only to be lowered by the elder ones. Said sarcastic bastard responded, "Aww, Zoë, it's only fair. You stole mine last time. And besides, would you prefer to be lying there gutted while I have to save your sorry ass again?" The jaws of the demigods and younger Hunters dropped to the floor in shock. Zoë mock glared, then sighed, and grinned at him. Added to their dropped jaws, their eyes were bugging out of the young ones' heads.

This was ZOE NIGHTSHADE, Lieutenant of the HUNTERS OF ARTEMIS… AND SHE WAS SMILING AT A GUY! Immediately, thoughts of the Apocalypse plagued their minds. They silently said their goodbyes as they waited for the end to come. To their surprise, (and relief) the planet did not explode.

This caused their tiny little brains to pop out: Artemis cried out, "Johnny!" and hugged him. They were beginning to rethink the Apocalypse theory….

Soon, he was tackled and playfully wrestling with the elder Huntresses, including Artemis. His group soon joined in, tackling girls off his barely breathing body. They all grinned until he raised his rifle towards the cliff. A girl, who by the way looked 14, lifted up a rocket launcher. (It's a SMAW: Shoulder-Mounted Assault Weapon.) Suddenly, a military helicopter (MH-60L: 2.75" rocket pods, M134 miniguns, and some other things; attack variant of the UH-60 Black Hawk.) with a bunch of weapons came out of the ravine, straight towards them. Some Hunters panicked and fired their bows. Yeah, imagine how that works against a steel vehicle.

Soon, bullets were cracking the glass by the cockpit. The boy… man… Eh, we'll leave it at guy, Johnny, calmly stated, "Anytime now, Claudia…" Claudia, who must've been the one with the rocket launcher, flipped him the bird, aimed, and fired. The rocket seemed to sail in slow motion, heading right to the rotor blades of the chopper. It hit right below them, tearing through several layers of metal plating before exploding. The rocket had hit the engines, so it blew the entire helicopter sky-high…. Well, it was already in the sky…. So, well, oh shush.

They could hear the screams of the mortal mercenaries as they were burned alive. Some even fell out into the ravine again, where the chopper fell soon afterwards. The older demigod male, Perseus, sheathed his sword and stuck out a hand, smiling. Johnny shook it, and smiled back. But nothing was warm about it; it was the smile of a child forced to grow up before their time. The smile of a warrior.

"Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon," Percy introduced himself. Johnny smirked a bit, creepily reminding him of the look Thalia gave him before she shocked his ass to the stratosphere. He internally shivered at the thought.

Johnny opened his mouth to speak, and Percy almost fainted right then and there. "Johnathan Campbell, son of Chaos. Yeah, my mom's pretty cool. Hey, Zoë, why does everybody do this when I tell them who my mom is?" He asked. She facepalmed, "Because your mom made the universe as we know it, maybe…?" Intellectual response that fits Percy: Johnny said, "Oh yeah."


	2. Story of my life

AN: Well, here's a new chapter while I have fresh imagination. Enjoy.

**Washington D.C.**

**Quest from Camp Half-Blood**

As the 5 demigods, demititan and satyr stood shocked at what lay in front of them, they didn't notice the teen holding a guitar walk up behind him. Johnny whistled, startling the quest members, resulting in 2 bows, a spear, and a sword pointed at his neck. He cocked and eyebrow, and moved the weapons away from him towards the monstrous cat-like thing in front of them.

"Nemean Lion. Nasty sonuvabitch. Whatcha gonna do?" He asked the teens. Percy recovered first, and said, "Well... Attack it?" He said that in such typical Percy fashion, Thalia facefaulted, anime style. The son of Chaos rolled his eyes, saying, "Well, Superman, let me know how that works out."

Thalia couldn't help but snicker, at her cousin's expense. Zoe suddenly yelled, "Scatter!" The demigods dived in different directions as the monster pounced on where they were just standing. The demiprimordial took command, barking out orders, "Percy, Thalia, distract this thing. Zoe, Bianca, find a good shooting position! Grover, you do what you can to help us! Weeds, grass, anything!" He suddenly dived left as the monster chomped down on where Johnny was just standing.

"What art thou going to do, Johnathan?" Zoe called out from a model F-22 Raptor, shooting arrows at the impenetrable Nemean Lion hide. He got a manical gleam in his eyes, as his guitar morphed into a large blade, which he split into two separate four foot long gleaming metal swords. "I'm gonna play with the kitty."

He dashed towards the hulking beast, swords down and casting sparks as they grinded against the floor. Thalia sent a blast of electricity towards the lion, knocking it off balance for a second, before it reared it's head and roared at her.

Suddenly Percy baseball slid underneath it, hacking uselessly at it's belly. It stopped it's charge on Thalia, and swiped a giant paw at the son of Posiedon, knocking him against the wall and out cold. "Percy!" Thalia yelled, upon seeing her cousin crumple to the ground unconscious, with blood leaking from a head wound.

Just as the Nemean Lion was about to devour the boy, Johnny threw his swords at it, turning it's attention towards him, before he jumped on the monster and grabbed it's neck, almost rodeo riding it. He grinned as the monster bucked and swiped at him, trying to get the annoying demiprimordial off of it.

"Hey Zoe, ever see the A-Team?" he randomly asked, as he was almost flattened against the wall. She looked at him in disbelief, while Thalia asked, "The one with Liam Neeson?" He smirked, "Yeah, that one! You know the scene where they're escaping Mexico?" She nodded. He kept smirking, "Then I'm gonna steal a quote from there. Alpha Mike Foxtrot, kitty cat! In other words..." he trailed off, when a female voice continued, "Adios, motherfucker!"

The conscious quest members turned to see a familiar girl holding a rocket launcher, before she pulled the trigger and a tremendous boom and a bright flash lit up the room. They watched as a boy dropped out of a shadow and grabbed Johnny, before he grabbed Percy as well. He dropped them off by the other quest members, all this in less then 2 seconds. A rocket streaked right into the still roaring mouth of the Nemean Lion, whose eyes widened before they, along with the rest of it's body vaporized. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was a lion's pelt, which morphed into a silver hunting parka, eerily resembling the Hunters' parkas.

Johnny scooped it up and tossed it to Zoe, whose eyes widened at being given the indestructable armor. At first she seemed to protest, but a hard look from John silenced her, along with him omniously saying, "You'll need, Princess."

He walked over to Percy, and touched his head, hands glowing an orange color. (Hint hint! ;3) The demigods watched in awe as his wound sealed shut, and blood was wiped off his body and clothes. He groggily came to, almost instinctively groaning, "Mom, five more minutes." Thalia snickered while Zoe smirked, Bianca and Grover stifling their laughs. John rolled his eyes, and slapped him across the face, earning a roar of laughter from Thalia, Zoe, and the two unidentified halfbloods, chuckles from Grover, an amused expression from Bianca, and a yelp from Percy.

John smirked at the blubbering prince of the seas, before his eyes widened and he screamed, "Sparti! Smithsonian! General! Luke!" A resounding explosion echoed in the distance, and John glanced at the girl with an amused expression. She smiled innocently at him, while he shook his head. "You and your damn explosives, Claudia, I swear..."

Zoe looked at him expectantly, while he just looked at her curiously. After several awkward seconds, he said, "What?" She facefaulted anime style, before facepalming, dragging it down her face to exagerrate the action. After taking several calming breaths, she was able to ask, "Care to explain when you got that healing trick?"

At first, he looked at her weirdly, before he came to a realization. "Ooooh, that trick. Not only that but I can do this," he motioned to his hand, which lit on fire, "and this." He clapped and a fresh feast of hot dogs, cheeseburgers, french fries, mac'n'cheese, mashed potatoes, and chocolate milk appeared in front of them.

"Dig in, guys," he said. Thalia immediately grabbed a fistful of french fries and a cheeseburger, before chowing down hungrily. Jeez, does she ever have a full stomach?

Soon everyone had a full stomach, and their hunger and thirst satasfied. Zoe's curiousity, however, was not.

"So Johnathan, the amswer to my question?" she randomly asked, catching him off guard. "What questi-Oh. Right, that one," he said, nodding in rememberance.

He sat straighter, and pulled out a piece of minty chewing gum. "Well," he started, "I've almost always had them. For a few thousand years, in fact." He chewed thoughtfully before continuing. "I'm actually not a demiprimordial. I'm a full on Primordial god. Chaos is my mother, and I have almost next to unlimited freedom in the mortal world. Ancient Laws have little to no restraint on me. I'm the Primordial of many things. Slightly lesser domains, but lots of them add up to a powerful being. Knowledge, willpower, strategies, soldiers, athletics, combat, hunting- which is why Artemis and I get on so well; I'm the more mature older brother she always wanted, I guess- emotions, truth, speed, music, and friendship."

Everyone's jaw was on the floor, even his own fellow Primoridial-related friends. He wasn't done yet, though, "I'm the youngest, and the unknown child. I guess that gave me more freedom then my brothers and sisters, I guess. Anyway, so I usually hung around the world, travelling region to region to visit my siblings. After Gaea and Ouranus gave birth to the Titans, I was excited to have nieces and nephews to take care of and visit. My sister is actually a very nice person. My nephew, Kronos, however, took advantage of his mother's naiveness and tricked her into believing Ouranus had cheated on her with Nyx.

Kronos is not the Titan of Decievement for nothing, nor is he called the Crooked One for the same reasons. He tricked his mother into forging a weapon that could destroy my brother's physical, human form. After he destroyed it, Gaea realized her mistake. That is where the myths go wrong.

At first, my sister grieved and mourned her lost husband. It was hard on us all, but hardest on her. My siblings and I, as well as their children, tried our best to comfort her, but to no avail. I was actually very young when this happened. Maybe two years old? I guess they depended on my childishness to help my sister recover. At first, it worked. My big sister always was smiling when I was around. However, we didn't know the consequences this had. Gaea confronted Kronos, but he almost killed her. She sank into the Earth, and fell into a deep slumber to heal. She still sleeps to this very day.

However, somewhere before Ouranus was shredded, they gave birth to the giants, the bane of the gods. They hid at first, somehow knowing they were in danger from Kronos and his crew. That's why they never showed until later

However, when Kronos and Rhea had their first child, Hestia, and Kronos was about to eat her, I managed to use my speed and wits to snatch her and replace her with a baby calf. I brought her to my mother, and she raised her as her own. I couldn't save the other children of Kronos, because somehow Prometheus saw me the first time, and said nothing. He did warn me of trying to do so again, he would alert Kronos.

Hestia and I grew up as best friends. Her domains of hearth, family, and hope intertwined with mine of friendship, emotions, and willpower. When the time came when Zeus freed his siblings and waged war upon his father, we came back down to Earth. After a long war, and dividing the territory, Zeus entirely forgot about his oldest sister, as well as his oldest brother. Soon, the others forgot the little goddess of the hearth as well.

She was hurt, as well as Hades. It also did not improve his mood that he got the Underworld. She actually cried about it several times over the years. Sometimes she still does. The entire reason Hades took Persephone was because he had nobody to talk to. My monthly visits, and sometimes daily visits from Hestia, couldn't keep him sane much longer. Even my nieces and nephews from Nyx could not help him. He was on the brink of insanity, but Persephone saved him. Demeter may not like this, but she does understand now, and treats her brother better.

Hestia, however, had almost nobody. At her request, almost begging, I became her champion. Weird, right? It was more of an excuse to spend more time with me. She was torn up, mentally. And as the years flew by, and the Olypmians and their spawn rose, some did come to Hestia. Hephaestus, Hermes, Artemis, Athena, Apollo, Hecate, Hypnos, Triton, Posiedon, Pan, and others came and went. I was almost always by her side. And soon, we began to notice each other differently.

Soon, I was not her best friend since birth. I was a handsome, rebellious, caring, sarcastic, somewhat immature god who she enjoyed being around. She was a beautiful, loving and lovable, fun, kind-hearted goddess who I felt drawn towards. In reality, this took thousands of years. Kind of recently, actually. We officially became a couple right before the pact of the Big Three. Nobody except us, you guys, and a select few know. So, I got Hestia's powers from being her champion and her boyfriend. Any questions?" I asked.

**(Holy fucking shit, that took FOREVER to write. It's like I gave a history lesson! Carry on.)**

Nobody raised a hand. I nodded, snapped, and all of our dirty dishes and stuff vanished. "We'd better get a move on," I said, getting up. "We have destroyed the breeding ground and those Sparti, but Atlas may have more. Let's go catch your train."

The stunned halfbloods followed me in silence. We got in the van they had. Well, I did. Claudia and Harry went off to... Well, probably blow up stuff, knowing those two. I wouldn't be surprised if the next day in the news I heard the Eiffel Tower was destroyed in a terrorist attack.

We drove in silence, Thalia taking the wheel from Zoe, while the huntress passed out. Percy and Bianca had passed out, too, while Grover muched on his tin cans. Suddenly, Thalia tensed, and said, "We're being followed."

I immediately perked up, asking, "By who and/or what?" She gestured out back, so I opened to back door ajar. Besides the usual D.C. traffic, I saw nothing unusual. I frowned, and said, "I don't see anything strange." She said, "In the sky."

I looked up to see a familiar helicopter following us. It was a special issue: the UH-60 Blackhawk, with a heavily modified fuselage for stealth and assault purposes. It was similar to the one DEVGRU (SEAL Team 6) used when they did the hit on bin Laden. I cursed, and summoned my blade, changing it to a long, heavy sniper rifle.

Thalia glanced at me with wide eyes, and asked, "What the Hades is that?" I replied cooly, loading a magazine and pulling back the bolt, "Barret M82 .50 caliber rifle, with an 8 power scope on it, capable of making automatic wind and elevation adjustments." **(Hey, this is ficition, isn't it?)**

She nodded, and focused in driving once more. I took careful aim at the aircraft, aiming to hit the fuel tank. I calculated the wind and elevation into my scope, and made adjustments for the moving speed. After that, I waited for the right moment. After several minutes, I squeezed the trigger, hearing the large bang of the rifle firing, and watched in slow motion as the bullet hit the helicopter, tearing through the hull and penetrating the fuel tank on the left side. Soon, the fuel ignited, and the entire aircraft blew up.

That woke everybody else up. I turned to Thalia, closing the door, and told her, "Floor it, get off at Exit 23A, and go to the trainyard. No stops from now till then." She slammed the accelerator, going way above the 45 mile per an hour speed limit, and almost caused several accidents. The noise and panick wasn't the reason I told her to get the hell out of Dodge, though. It was what was behind it that worried be.

Beyond the debris of the helicopter, I saw the bright yellow eyes of hundreds of Sparti hunters, all ready to feast on demigod flesh.


End file.
